Nuts About Squirrels

Before old Bird Face takes all the credit I just want people to know that I wrote most of his new book, Nuts About Squirrels.
They say it takes one to know one and who would know more about squirrels than me? I was raised on corn and now I have a whole book full of it. If you want to know how to read a squirrel’s mind this is the book for you. It is a tell all book about squirrels. I will probably be blackballed and snowballed by all my squirrelly neighbors when they find out I have authored a book spilling the beans on how we operate. But I don’t care. I am sick and tired of all the vicious rumors that float around about the nasty things that squirrels do. My mother always said, you can’t throw acorns and live in a glass tree. Most of the stories you hear about squirrels is pure unadulterated fantasy. About the only thing we are guilty of would be hard work for little birdseed.
You talk to anyone that feeds birds. Not a one of them will tell you a bird story. They all tell squirrel stories. They have this false sense of accomplishment that they have baffled a squirrel. I’m here to tell you that will never happen. For every squirrel baffle there is a baffled squirrel. The truth is there are a hundred other furballs who will eat your seed for every hair brained one who can’t figure out how to get around some squirrelly engineering.
This book will teach you squirrel etiquette and I hope you will not only read and practice it but also tell your friends about it too.