A Squirrels Brain

BEFORE

AFTER

The most highly developed section of a squirrel brain is the stomach, according to recent studies. I thought the stomach was a seperate organ all together but I have always known the two were really good friends and always watch out for each other. The researchers have not figured me out yet.

Here is how it actually works: My nose and eyes detect food. As soon as my nose smells food it sends a quick email to my brain. At that point my one good eye looks around for some nut with a broom. If the perimeter is clear the eye sends another quick email to the brain. This is called dedicated sense management. The brain is a clearinghouse for food information. Once the eye and nose information clears the brain decides what to do. If it seems safe the legs recieve a quick email from the brain to haul tail to the food cache as fast as a rodent can run and stuff the face to capacity.

This emailing is going on all the time in a squirrel’s body. All the muscles, nerves, and vital organs have their own email accounts plugged into the main service provider which is the brain.

We don’t have any problem with SPAM. We love SPAM.

Now I have simplified the whole process so that the average reader of the "nature news" can understand it—but it all boils down to food. When I think about my life on a daily basis the bottom line is this: I live to eat and eat to live. The only other thing I ever think about is myself not becoming food for some other meathead with me on the menu.

On severe winter days when the wind is shifting brutally cold air through the trees, I crawl into my leaf pile packed precariously around a naked branch and relax. My brain has a snooze button and I only wake up when my stomach starts emailing again.

Did you ever wonder where the term, "Living off the fat of the land" came from. It comes from squirrels. I eat constantly but I always save 10 percent of my earnings. That’s right. I know I’ll never see social security so I take care of number one. I turn 10 percent of my intake into fat.

When the winter wind blows my little body is as fat as my cheeks at a full bird feeder. Without that reserve I would be spending a lot more time at your bird feeder than either of us would care for.
--Hairy Houdini