Ground Hog Day Fallacy

What’s with all the attention for those lazy whistle pigs. They are so low on the squirrel family tree, I don’t even consider them kissin’ cousins. They sleep all winter. I don’t mean hole up for a couple days if a blizzard blows in. I mean they actually sleep all winter. The myth about them waking up on February 2nd and looking for their shadow—give me a break. Some furball from Pennsylvania named Phil supposedly does that. If the truth were known somebody wakes him up kickin’ and screamin’. Why would he get up in the cold hard depth of winter and lie about the weather. Spring is not right around the corner in February. The way I figure it—if I still don’t have at least half my nuts left on February 2nd, I am going to have to spend twice as much of my time at your bird feeder in early spring. I don’t know who put woodchucks in the same category as squirrels. Have you seen the haircut on those dirt diggers. You could shine your boots with them. Not only that—they’re rude. When they are courting they whistle. Most females find that offensive. But when you live out here where I do, that’s all you hear in the springtime. Those pigs wakeup and start whistling. Go figure! --H. Houdini